Stuck in satyug Sunday, August 30, 2009

I am fortunate enough to have a couple of friends who are big fans of the Indian mythologies that were a rage in the nation before the guys were even born. These guys have managed to keep tons of GBs of entire collections on their PCs. The reverence they pay to our Godly avatars in human forms is simply shown by the fact that porno-flicks and Mahabharata/Ramayana episodes are not permitted on the same drive. Even separate folders on a single drive is disrespectful they say. What's even more fun is when they tell stories. They seemed possessed with so much knowledge of the events that happened a millenia ago, it feels they were there. I can actually imagine D'Costa (a real name of a real friend by the way) standing and applauding Dushasana's awe inspiring moves in a blind king's darbar (If D'Costa has his way, he might even whistle). I can also safely bet on another friend's deep knowledge of not just the mythologies but also their ever so complex joint family structures. For fun I once asked this other friend to name Arjun's mother in law's nephew's name. He not only gave me the name but also the prince's title, the kingdom he ruled and the prince's sexual orientation. It was at his place that I caught an episode of Ramayana. I immediately recalled the stories our fathers told on how the streets emptied when these episodes were aired. The few families that owned a television set had hordes of people watching, all sans footwear, armed with aarti plates and bells to chant bhajans during commercials. This is when I thought the horrible plight of the innocent actors who didn't realize that the characters they are playing were going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
  • Dara Singh who played Hanuman, had someone else (thankfully) dub for his dialogues. If not for the dubbing, a Punjabi accented hanuman would have caused a laugh riot. Known for his impromptu improvisation on dialogues, there wouldn't even have been a war had Raavan heard “Oye raavan oye.. Sita maata ko lauta de.. nahi ta TERI BHAEN DI.... “.
  • Deepika who played Sita, made a very bad choice so early in her career. Inspite of her stunning looks, she was off-limits for the million of young Indians who feared Lord Vishnu's wrath. No producer would sign her. The risk for making her romance anyone but Lord Rama could have meant a burning effigy, and a raging bajrang dal crowd outside his house.
  • Arun Govil who played Lord Ram, would have faced the worst. Understandably, how would anyone feel when one goes to a liquor shop to buy his favourite brand of whiskey and is told, “Bhagwan, ye paap na kare, Lakshman bhaiya pe bura assar pudega...”.
  • Girija Shanker who played Dhrutrashtra would have had a few people helping him cross a road, sometimes forcibly even though he had no plans on crossing it.
  • Gajendra Chouhan who played Yudhishter could have easily won a few court cases just by showing a few Mahabharata episodes to the judge, who would have been easily convinced that this case involving ancestral property between the warring Chouhan brothers must go in favour of Mr. Gajendra. God was at his side even then, must also be today. The advantages in court might have been balanced by a few drunkards who kept him awake on some nights, ogling at his wife and wanting one last game of chausar.
Apart from the plight of these actors, there very loads of other funny things I noticed, the 15 minutes each arrow took to kiss its counterpart and magically return back (why the fuck didn't it go ahead), Entire episode of one of Raavana's brother uttering just 5 words while still having a screen space of over 40 minutes. The rest of the time he just laughed, and man did he laugh..!! A strange casting of a south Indian guy to play Kumbhakaran, who not only amuses by calling Lakshman Ram's 'bai' but also has a mountain thrown at him hit his insanely big paunch and fly back (just like the arrows). In spite of everything, one must not forget that these were indeed cult classics who inspired an entire generation. I guess what we are doing to them is what our grandchildren will be doing to MTV Roadies. :)

7 comments:

sobhit said...

finally ur cmmnt section workin dude... nehw like i said dat vry momnt cmmnting gives a very 1st thot.. but nevrdless ..ekdum mast post... very like d kamina dat u r :P :P ..knew u bloggin wud b fun 2 read.. so gud u made ur way here.. n dis post ...hahahaha... saale u evn knw d real name f guys who played d charactr in it.. n lady sita.. but mahabharat mein sita kaha thi yaar?? woh toh ramayan thi.. n d each charactr ke liye d way u hv givn description of wot wud hapnd 2dem is awesum.. specially sita n dhrutrasta :P :P... n kudos 2 ur room mates or who so evr who keep d epic sagas n porn on diff hard drive... how religious n respectful :P:P... gud fun readin ur post man... n do come up wid ur aftr beer party incidence...

Puneet said...

thanks dude. About the real names... IMDB :) and about the party incident.. I'm scared coz my lil cousin sister just found me on facebook.. this blog isn't too far :)

sobhit said...

haha.. but dude dat needs 2b put up here... so looking 4wrd 2d party blog

sobhit said...

dude hv tagged u on my blog... get tym do cmplete it up

sobhit said...

aur bhai..ek aur tag typs post tere liye..on my page... guess u wud b able 2 cmplete dis 1 sooner ....

swats.... said...

mast hai!

Jas B said...

Lol@ Punjabi accented Hanuman ji!

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