Phir dil do..... but kisko?? Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A crisis awaits Indian sports. I know what you are thinking,. am I nuts?? Sachin is scoring a double ton, India's on top of the rankings and Rajyavardhan singh Rathore has finally got an endorsement to pay off his debts. Indian sport in crisis?? But to my short sighted and naive friends, my doomsday predictions, as always, are backed on sound logic.

'Indian sports' is actually a misnomer in this entire rant. Please read 'Indian cricket' whenever you see 'Indian sports', because that is the truth. We are overjoyed by our cricketer's feats and mistake them for Indian sport's victories. What would happen if say... something awful happened to Indian cricket suddenly? If the nation's biggest sport superstar whom we idolize and call God turned out to be mere mortal? The thought might give quivers down your spine but my friends, what I'm about to show you, will twist you in ways you never imagined. No, I won't be disclosing a new recipe on cough syrups that might get you high. What I will be, will cause more damage What I have in my possession is an old sachin tendulkar pic which was taken when he was much younger. Please do not pass the pic around as it may send shock waves throughout the country and we may very well be seeing an end of Indian cricket as we know it. This may take with it our entire sporting culture as we have shamelessly been loyal in our affair with cricket, while we continue to check out our hot neighbors even after we're married. Talk about double standards! Anyways, here's the picture taken by a photographer called Chotu Photuvala whose name we have decided not to disclose due to obvious reasons. (oops! where the fuck is backspace... ehh never mind)

I know guys. I couldn't believe it myself. How could he! The epitome perfection, the greatest Indian ambassador, a probably Bharat ratna do this! To me personally its not the over the top celebration with two bottles of liquor, its the man's drinking capacity. I've heard tales of people gulping down entire bottles but two of them?? Hey wait a second.. I thinking I'm turning into his fan again for his drinking prowess. Never! I can't allow myself to do that. In a country where more than half of the population drinks below the poverty line (According to latest census, the poverty line has been defined as Royal stag or below) how could he be so ignorant of the prevalent social conditions and hold a bottle of Jack Daniels and Blue Label? Can you imagine how many lives were at stake in this match when the bottles were swaying all over in the air. Had any of the bottle slipped we might have seen India's first spectator death.

But on hindsight, I think it was us, we never let the man live like he wanted. At the age Sachin was when this was photographed, we were doing stuff which cannot be written/discussed/whispered anywhere. But of course, the damage has been done. With cricket gone, what sport shall we turn to? Hockey looked like a good contender but that was before we got thrashed by Australia yesterday. One thing is sure, we'll have to choose a sport which these freaking aussies do not play. And since we have the luxury to choose, we might as well find one which the USA or China doesn't play either, because they also kick some serious ass of their competitors. Another major factor that would have to go into the sport will be glamor. With the cheerleaders gone, we'll have to find an alternate. This is for people who don't understand the sport but instead of watching girls on television, one fine day decide to catch some live action and turn up in the stadium. I think I have just the right sport that meets all these conditions.

Phir dil do kabbadi ko


sobhit said...

hahahhaha kya mast morphing ki hai saale.. tu sacha ER hai bhai..

Sakko said...

Loving the humor puneet.With this blog active- most of us most miss u(in person) so much!

Puneet said...

thanks guys :)
And sobhit... Dude.. this is real man! Your mistaking the super serious stuff I write here for humor :)

ankita said...

Goood one :) Nice humor.

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