Four Reasons why Shoaib malik did the right thing Monday, April 5, 2010

Reason# 1
We all know the future of Pakistan. And no, it wont collapse under some Talibani regime, on the contrary, it will be run by this hottie known as Fatima Bhutto who shall make all the men her slaves, and with her looks, I doubt any guy would oppose. So in a country ruled by a woman hell bent on avenging all the injustices done to her kind in Pakistan, she shall permanently put all the men in bondage (not in a sexual way). There wont be a Pakistani men's cricket team. Shoaib malik would be among the lucky few who could then play for India. Ofcourse he'll have to enact the scene from Gadar in which he'll have to yell "Pakistan murdabad" holding a hand pump in one hand and all this under the supervision of Anil Sharma, but thats a different story.


Reason# 2
He and Sania Mirza will have a love child. Yes you heard it right, she's expecting. How it happened? you mean the circumstances or the process? :) Same old story. First round exit, killing the spare time in a bar, thinking where have all the hot men gone from sports, mistaking a guy named shoaib malik for shoaib akhtar, mistaking the act of 'sleeping together while your drunk' with 'dreaming that your sleeping together while your drunk', taking a steroid test later only to find more than a few steroids in your body. That's 'how not to make babies' in a nutshell. But that's not the right thing shoaib did (although was a pretty cool thing by his standards). Their child once grown, will become a UN peace ambassador and finally solve the kashmir issue by making such a mess of the state that none of the two countries would want it.


Reason# 3
Contray to what most people believe it was him who did Sania Mirza a favor. At her age and taking into account the enormous amount of activity her body goes through, (that bar incident included) it astounds me that she possesses the body of a south Indian home grown middle aged actress. God knows the amount she would have had to spend on the repairs on the furniture of her home had she decided to marry say an Inzimam ul haq. With a malnourished body, Shoaib Malik is the perfect balancing act to the ever expanding Ms. Mirza


Reason# 4
We all know what peer pressure is. Our house should be better than our colleagues'. Our car should be flashier than theirs. You think wives are spared. To prove a point, I have collected some highly classified photographs of some even uglier looking pakistani cricketers and thier wives. The images are classifed as research still continues on how the fuck did these douchebags land these stunners,

    This is why Inzimam played cricket. All the crap about pride in representing one's country and making your nation proud is just that, crap. Seriously, you think a guy like this could ever have landed with a girl like this had he not been a celebrity?? 

    Kamran Akmal is even luckier, with a face like that he should be thanking his stars for just getting married!



    Imagine our poor Shoaib malik in a party. While everyone's showing off, the poor chap has to walk in hand in hand with Mrs. Ayesha. and explain to everyone that beauty is merely skin deep. In his case, around 5 feet deep.


    6 comments:

    sagar V said...

    pretty funny shohaib-mirza story

    Roshmi Sinha said...

    Haha! Made for a nice read...

    Sania's tennis career is behind her... so whatever publicity she can garner the better for her. Looks like they are headed for Dubai... where they intend to be the ambassadors for Sports promotion (as in Dubai as a games/sports destination/hub)

    She is business as well as media and PR savvy. Lets see how Mr. Malik matches up...

    As far as Fatima Bhutto is concerned... she is a nobody. Not even the people inhabiting the 'land of the pure' fusses over her... like the media in India and elsewhere is doing these days...

    Roshmi Sinha said...

    Knock! Knock!

    Jas B said...

    Maybe there is something wrong with me, I thought Inzy looked really good, especially when he grew his beard! Lol! Should I be seeking some help????
    :D

    Your perspectives are mucho interesting. have to go thru each one of your blog posts!

    Puneet said...

    Jas, Well if you'r comparing the clean shaved inzi with the bearded one.. then I'm with you.. coz the clean shaven one looks gay. But if you feel the bearded inzi generally looks good... SERIOUSLY?? hahaha :D But hey.. to each his own :)
    On second thoughts.. he does look the cuddly kind... SHIT! look what youv'e done to me jaz!

    Jas B said...

    Lol@ "clean shaven one looks gay".

    And

    Can't stop laughing @ "SHIT! look what youv'e done to me jaz!".

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