A bikini made of cement?? Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Advertisements are good. Advertisements make me want to buy stuff. And then there are some which make me do stuff. Stuff like trying to tear apart my head, split up my brains and try to understand what exactly are the Ad agencies trying to say. One such creative marvel I saw a few days back was trying to promote JK cements. A swimsuit clad, coy girl walks through the entire length of the Ad (which I really don't mind, she should have run if you ask me) and then the classic masterpiece (this Ad) comes to an abrupt end with the logo of JK cements in your face.

Here's the link on youtube for those who don't give a fuck for what I'm about write below, and just want go watch the hottie:  I ogle at under dressed women, take me to the link


The first time I watched it, I was pretty sure the Ad must have been a long one, with some sort of a story to it, but due to cost cuts, the JK cement guys decided to just show a clipped version of it later. This is actually a pretty normal thing that happens with ads. I was wrong. This was indeed the complete thing. Why the hell would a reputed company, who must have hired an equally reputed Ad firm go ahead and make this nonsensical (but equally sensual) ad? There had to be some sense behind the nonsense. I knew that God had chosen me to decrypt the greatest mysteries of all time.

The lack of data was driving me mad. I had an imaginary face for the Ad director in my mind who I felt he was laughing at me 24x7. That bastard had not given me anything to think on. I mean seriously, all you have in the Ad is a pretty girl, walks out of the beach, smiles and it ends. After a week of complete lack of sleep, overgrown beard and immense hygiene sacrifices, I cracked it.

After matching her facial features to my pretty exhaustive list of pictures of Indian women, I found her out. She goes by the name of 'Urmila Undress'. I know what you'r thinking of her name and would politely ask you to stop thinking ahead any further than you already have. The girl is not promoting obscenity by that surname. What she is, is giving me my next hint. Surely with a name like that, your ancestry would not be tough to Google. Google works best for people with strange names. A guy I know who goes by the rare name 'Dicwitington' tells people to search him on Google instead, when people ask him for his visiting card. Try Google-ing his name for confirmation. So, my search on Urmila disclosed the fact that she was a love child of 'Ursula Andress' (see the connection in the names?).

Ursula Andress is ofcourse best remembered for the famous James Bond scene (link). On watching the link, you'll agree that the similarities between the Ad the scene from Dr. NO were shocking. Now that I had established a connection, all that remained was a motive. What was this daughter of the ex-Bond girl trying to say? That's when I brought out my entire arsenal of mathematical formulas into play. Ursula Andress was born in 1936. My mathematical equations which are based on data collected from various bollywood magazines tell me that for a movie star to have an illegit love child, and still escape a media frenzy, it has got to happen before you enter the industry. Which gives our Urmilla Undress an approximate age of  45-50. To be able to look that way at that age is nothing but a miracle. A miracle that JK cement have been able to successfully engineer. You see for ages, silicon and botox have been the elements of choice for women, for various well known purposes. They do a pretty decent job at hiding your age, but only for some time. And here's where JK cements come. This Ad is nothing but a teaser to an upcoming announcement which will... hold your breath... LAUNCH CEMENT AS A BEAUTY PRODUCT in the market!! I know..!! Am I a genius or Am I a genius! Hah. take that JK cements! you could fool the world but not me. It was a pretty perplexing riddle until Urmila gave it away with her oh so perfect cement bonded figure, and that semi smile of her. Clearly, all the cement in her face did not allow the poor girl to smile fully.So the moral of the story, next time you comment on the cheap levels Ads have fallen to, remember, their intention might not always be to titillate the masses... but maybe... just maybe... to instigate the minds of the classes.



p.s: The idea for this post came from here

6 comments:

sobhit said...

hahahahhahahahaahah ROFLMAO.. awesum work bro... tho u always gud.. but dis 1 is exceptional.. no1 but u cud hv had pulld dis cement post bttr.. i awlays wonderd lookin at d posters on streets how is dis ad related 2 d cement.. now dat u hv crakd d mystery.. am proud 2 hv a frnd like u.. in many n many lives can 1 hv a genius frnd like u dude :P... wah bhai wah.... urmilla undress.... wah wah... bond gurl ... d cemnt chic sure had d bond elemnt :P... wet out f d water n solid as cement.. wah wah wah..... am short on words dude.. dis post desrves praises beynd my scope... n i ogle at underdressd women take me 2 d link,,,LOL kamaal bhai kamaal...

Aarbee said...

Ohhh.. this is the one you had in mind eh? I remember a crrrazy discussion we had about this one on Twitter some time back. It used to flash a lot during some cricket tournament, right?

But hats off for the analysis, man! There should be an award. :)

shashank said...

ad convey the message of " ek dum solid " cement
through "ek dum solid girl"....uuuuhh.

congratulation to ad maker as his objective of making people remember his ad is achived sucessfully.

sometimes stupidity also works...!!!

Sakko said...

yaar puneet tu itna cool kab ban gaya..i just realized you write the same shit for which we used to throw chalks/ namkeen/ orange peels, etc. on you. Now, we actually like it.But whyeeee?
Ans. Its not directed at us anymore :(
man!! its been a relief getting away from u.

Puneet said...

Sakshi, Thanks for the nice words. "man!! its been a relief getting away from u." was the sweetestthing anyone has said to me till date :) and yes one talks crap and he's a moron. One writes crap and there are always people who say.. you know.. he might have a point there.. hehe thats whats working in my favor :)

Shashank, True. Now the competitors will scratch their heads off finding a more stupid idea( I doubt they'll beat this)

Aarbee, I take awards, of any kind.

Sobhit, thanks dude. You have always ben kind :)

Roshmi Sinha said...

Ha! Ha! What a brilliant idea!!! You gotta copyright it... else someone violates your IPR ;)

After wearing this novel bikini... folks can be preserved for posterity... atleast a part of them can be preserved! Just like folks many years ago... caught in the molten lava from Mt. Vesuvius...

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